Shovel Cherry

I broke my shoveling snow cherry this morning and I feel like a new woman. Have I mentioned how much I love snow? If I lived in California, I could not have the "I just don't feel like dealing with the weather, so I'm staying in" excuse. Not too many climates I appreciate more than snowy ones. The only warm place (in U.S.) I'd try my best to cope with living there is New Orleans, but it costs just as much to live there as it does here because housing is not readily available unless you don't mind the state of the residence and/or you have the means to rehab the place. I wish I did. I just read an article in Interview Magazine about an artist that started from scratch and created an amazing art space right before Katrina hit and is still plugging to help rebuild her community one installation at a time. At times I feel a wee bit insignificant to have only the shoveling of snow on the agenda today. Well, and the plastic on the windows. The office sits on the second floor (renovated attic) of the home I rent here in Portage Park. It's a different kind of Chicago neighborhood, but I like the suburban feel in a city environment and it is very useful to live near people that take care of their property. Especially the snow. I got out there at 9am today and I have to say that even though I biffed the icy mix storm the other night and am still dealing with the ice blocks remaining, the salt I picked up yesterday (almost gone- thanks $7.99 jug of pet and plant friendly salt- yay capitalism) has kept the driveway relatively cleared.

Happy Mrazgiving

No one has taught me more about being good to people, expressing gratitude, and being thankful than Jason Mraz. I draw so much inspiration, good advice, and a great example of humanity from this person and gush to talk to anyone who will listen about him (thanks Wayne). Obama has been making my body buzz and until then only Jason and John Lennon produce that feeling and most recently it had been fading. This is not a sexual buzz. This is a "I will follow you wherever you lead me to go" kind of buzz. But with the holidays approaching and the economy sucking harder every minute, I admit, I am a little depressed. So when Jason comes to town I try to make sure I don't lose my mind from THINKING about the sheer amount of questions I have about business, touring, friends, family, travels, pooping, kitties and randoms like lazer lights. He shares, he educates, he creates, he imagines, he is gracious, and he is cool. My buddy Jason was in Milwaukee at Eagle's Ballroom last Friday night and then he played the Aragon Ballroom in Chicago on Saturday. As luck would have it, I was able to attend both with backstage privileges. I brought three friends along for the Chicago show and Jason put us sidestage behind the sound board and Micah, the super sound guy. The first picture is of the stage while we were the only people on stage for about 30 mins with 5,000 people staring at us, or so I felt. Crazy. And the next picture is a little blurry, but I think you understand where we were.

In Milwaukee we got about 20 mins with Jason backstage, but in that time we shared some down time and he mentioned getting me sidestage passes in Chicago and I was not sure what that meant until I took that empty stage picture. No wing, no curtain and not even tall speakers. I have to admit, it was pretty fucking cool. It has me spoiled though and I'm fascinated by the lifestyle and the backstage perspective. Any chance to see the grid system or just the view is super. There's my inner stage manager for ya. It is a treat and a gift to be able to hang with old friends more often than not and actually watch them grow and perform (up close and not so). I've known Jason for 13 years or thereabouts. He rocks the variety ease. Steely Dan and then Rick James' "Mary Jane". He is just right. He covered a little Sinatra, a little Bennett, and did "Clockwatching" into "No Stopping Us" which was just delightful. Well done buddy. I am thankful for Mraz time however I can get it. I look forward to your Christmas album whenever you want to release that gem. Seriously. "O Holy Night". seriously.

Encouraged to Die Old Whilst Fucking

Mexico's affair with life long fucking

Why would you encourage raise single mother rates? Doesn't your country already have population issues? How about you tell them to get over their old, soft dick and take up golf or Wii. And abortion and birth control are not acknowledged as legitimate in a Catholic lifestyle, but procreating just to have sex is beyond re-fucking-dick-ulousness! I like sex, I like sucking cock, but I'm not risking getting knocked up by some old dude just because his government believes his right to fuck into old agedom is the least they can do to help improve the quality of life. Fucking does improve the quality of life for everyone. Whatever. Who am I to stop the Mexican government from passing out "hard-dick" pills to those that can barely drive or read. Let them have children at 70 and leave the mothers to neglect their poor obese children. This goes along with the US benefits covering Viagra (lame example, but I don't care) for many years before even considering to cover birth control or even the government actually calling it maternity leave as opposed to a "leave of absense". I'm not bitter. I get laid enough for sure, but I don't want my next option to be a 73 year old immigrant who wants to get his rocks off and scrape more genes from the bottom of his dead sperm count.

Express It Tiny!

Suck it paps. Glad to know sign language lessons are not being missed.

Good Grief

Thank you for voting. And thank you for picking the right individual to guide us for the next 8 (or more if they allow for future presidents) years. You know he's my boyfriend and stuff, but Michelle and I are cool, so it's all good. ;) The City of Chicago felt the love on Wednesday and most of Thursday, but when the cold returned to Chicago, so did the douchery. I almost got run over 3 times, and I had the right of way all times, by a car full of African American Yankee fans and then an Asian woman tried to run me over from behind on her bicycle and yes, we were on the sidewalk. She didn't say one word and even hit my arm and said nothing. not a damn thing. At least the guy in the back of the first car that almost hit me seemed apologetic for his hurried driver. Nevertheless it does not give the cabbie the right to take a left when I have the crosswalk sign and almost kill me. He wanted to get out of the car, but thought better of it when he saw my gun that I carry. I wish sometimes. I don't own a gun, but apparently it is my right as an Amuurrrrican. Guns are for law enforcement officers. Anyhooooooo. What's more upsetting about these three occurrences today is they were all less than 1/2 a mile from the Hilton where Obama gave his first post election press conference. I had to get the Chubbs some food at Kriser's and I just stumbled upon all the police/security, tv satelite trucks, and two corners scattered with paparazzi. It occurred to me that I heard them say on the radio this morning that Obama would be at the Hilton. How neat. Later in the day I will learn that his office is in the building across the street from my office. Pretty...fucking...cool. Whatever that man asks of me as an American is top priority. Only now is politics an option, but only if they legalize it. GO Obama!

Vote, People, Vote!!!!!

Say it loud - YES WE CAN!!!!!! Say it proud - YES WE CAN!!!!! Vote like a muthah fuckah- YES WE MUTHAH FUCKING CAN!!!!!! It is today that your vote counts more than it has ever in history! Vote and ye shall be the proud parent of voting for the person you want to run your country. If you know anything at all about politics, and if you have been prithee to a fire being lit up under yo' ass, then you know you voted right (unless of course you are racist, then I am not speaking to you). I voted early and proudly. While reading a highly liberal magazine, I learned about how voting Democratic has been hard in previous elections because of unscrupulous tactics used by the Republican party to disenfranchise democratic voters. Democrats may have participated in some goofy junk, too, but never to the level as the Republicans. My one regret this election is not living in Virginia to carry another vote for Obama. I pray that Virginia chooses the black guy! I pray that Florida gets their shit together and make their votes count instead of losing them to the system. I pray that Sarah Palin never makes it to the White House and I pray that Obama becomes the first and one of many great African Americans to reside in the White House. Here's to Obama! You heard me right, people, I'm praying for Barack Obama's win today! Keep those Republicans honest!!! Go Obama!!!!

Just Laying Around

So, what's the deal with the winnings for tipping off a crime? The reward money. Where does that money come from? How is it that you could win $100,000 being in the wrong place at the wrong time? Magic. Ridiculous. Why hasn't anyone started a company invested in putting people in the absolute worst positions to not only rip off the government, but to load up for not doing a f'n' thing (insert any company, federal institute, entertainment job, etc). Is this "reward" money just laying around in a petty cash box or tip jar? It just seems that money kind of comes out of nowhere for witnesses of crimes. I'm sure it's tax dollars, but how do they gage how many people they will need to pay for the possible lies they will tell or not as they case may be. bah. Don't try to explain it to me, I really don't want to know.

"Tom, I'd like for you to pal around with this guy Lenny, who has a history of mental illness and we believe is planning to mail letters with baking soda, used in place of a toxic substance of course, to over 50 banks. We are of the assumption that he is somewhere in Texas. Good luck."

You are a winner!