Thursday, January 25, 2007

Asparagus and Pew

The other evening I joined a pair of really super peeps for dinner and some quality theatre. We ate at Sidebar which is a nice bar in the Loop of Downtown Chicago. As it goes, I have to remove as much bread from my diet as possible for health reasons (not dieting) and in doing so, my choices were limited here at Sidebar. Everything was a sandwich or had something I didn't want added to the sandwich like onions or tomatoes. I just get tired of having to ask for shit to be removed from the sandwich. Build it like I want it, not smothered in onions or drenched in tomatoes. If I wanted that, I'd find myself a Waffle House and get some hash browns. So I got the pot roast with the veggie of the day which happened to be asparagus. Now, I am somewhat new to the enjoyment of asparagus and the cuts that accompanied the pot...roast, that is, were tiny and perfectly cooked.

After dinner we proceeded on to the Goodman to see August Wilson's final installment, Radio Golf. August Wilson is a neat playwright. He has chronicled the roots of African Americans from the 1900s up to the 90s. He died last year before the Goodman could produce the 10th and final of his Cycle of 10 plays. As we were waiting for the house to open, I spotted a dude I had worked with on a terrible production (which was the production that stopped my stage managing), but I wasn't sure if it was him or not. When we go in to the house to find our seats, where are we sitting? Two seats away from that dude, James. Sweet guy, but after I said, "Hello", you could tell he didn't remember my name. So sad. We worked closely in a booth, calling shows for 8 wks and not a clue came across his face until after intermission. At intermission, I went to the ladies room and the nastiest smell was coming from the toilet. I was like WTF?! I wasn't sure if it was me, the water, or what, but I didn't think anything of it until I got home and peed again. The same rancid smell came up between my legs and bowl as it occurred to me that asparagus would be the culprit. Unbelievable. I mean morning pee is pretty stinky, but this stream beats heinous. At least 6 pees smelled this way and each time I was caught off guard with an 'Newman' like, only with 'Asparagus' exclamation. Amazing how something so good for you can produce such a putrid smell repeatedly. pew.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Has Been Not Been

For all intents and purposes, this part of the journey has supposedly been about me, and it has, but not. Last year's resolution was met, granted it took half the year to do it, but it's done and will never be an issue again. This year I have a group of tasks for the resolution and we are partially winning the battle of the procrastination game. It is difficult working thru the ye lame time of the month, but at least I am aware of the worst part of the month. In addition to the knowledge of myself that I have gained over the past couple years, this year will be time for focusing and dedication. For the first time in a very long time, I am over my phone issues. I loathe the phone. If it were more readilly available, I would use telegrams. Not only have I lost the pack of friends I used to have, but most have moved, others have partnered off and still others are just not involved in my life for one reason or another. These are the reasons that I must remember why I have to put myself as the focus for my growth. So if I don't answer the phone and you leave a message, be patient, I'll call you back eventually. Just know that I don't check voice mail, but once every few weeks since virtually no one other than solicitors call and they even leave messages now.

It is time for a commitment to myself to complete the preliminary mission of me.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

And now this...

Plans have been made. Movement forward isn't exactly what has taken place due in part to some kind of illness the doctors are unfamiliar with, but won't necessarily agree with the patient, so stress gives aggrivation to the illness. Who knows what this change could be and it can also be associated with a few different angles. One being sexually transmitted, yet that has not been a consideration by any doctors and they know of my random and sparse acts of sexualness. Second being turning 30 and now so many people have come out to say that their body started doing weird things when they turned 30. Including, but not limited to becoming allergic to something they were never allergic to before. And lastly, but not all-ly, stopping the cigarette smoking. One thing I had been hesitant to deal with was the reaction my body would do after I stopped because while I was a smoker, I rarely got sick. I had bronchitis twice in the 11 years of smoking cigs, but never colds or fevers, although diarrhea was a regular and I attributed that to the Coca-Cola that remained a constant nutrient in my college years. Anyhoo. With this illness has come parental panic and plans of me leaving Chicago. My mother wants me to move back home to go to her doctors by way of taking a leave of absence and they would pay my bills. Ugh. I am very hopeful that I will outlive my parental units, but if anything, I would hope that I could have some time to myself before I am to take care of them. My mother has not only been laying on the guilt, but she lays on the negative. She doesn't see the brightside. Things always seem the worst, but not in a dramatic sort of way, but in a life sort of way. Not in a preachy way, but in a conversational way, I try to express the need for her to stop smoking and yet she manages to defend the one a day method. Fair enough. Negative in the sense that she and my stepfather just returned from Hawaii. What could possibly be negative about a trip to Hawaii? What was the first thing she laid (haha) in on? the flights. Not the trees, not the weather, not even the food, it was the GD flights and the MF turbulence. Come ON! Still negative, but since tabling some moves on my part, I think I will begin to hear more positive. Here's hoping.

Saturday, January 06, 2007


In confrontation there is usually some kind of release. If this release is closure, the release is that much more healthy, but if the release is in vain or exasperation, then the confrontation is pointless. Another chapter in the neighbor saga. Last night or this am at about 2:30, the neighbors got home and decided to wake up their neighbor again for the second time in a week. This is the second time also this week that I have had to ask them to be quiet. It takes so much rage in me to go and ask someone to stop doing anything that crying is on the brink. I don't like to have to confront people, let alone when I know they are fucking and really being rough in the bedroom above my bedroom. I had to pound on their door like the damn police for the second time this week. That makes three disruptions in a week. This is after I gave them a letter asking for them to lighten up on their footsteps and even speaking with the lady of the couple without resolving anything, but they have gotten louder. Whether by coincidence or sheer spite, it is damaging my demeanor some more. I wrote an email to the landlord this am at 4 am explaining the situation and attaching the letter I gave them. He seemed sincere enough in his response to me and said he would look into it. At least he thanked me for letting him know. Instead of telling me to get over it. The Golden Rule is something I try to live by in work and in life and it is so frustrating to see and deal with people who don't see it that way. They see entitlement and not being considerate to those around you. They don't know me and I don't know them, but my opinion of them is very poor and I would imagine the same comes back to me. This is the part that bothers me the most. I can see their side, but they can't see mine and refuse to in the process. They feel they are entitled to walk however loud they want to and to some degree they are right, but neither one of us own these spaces, the building, or are the only people that live here. I see it as being considerate and they take it as ridiculous to compromise their footsteps. The bright side? The bright side is that the whole day I have been looking for my mp3 player since I am one of 5 people that don't own an iPod and I'm ok with that and had to settle for my Walkman. The plan was to have headphones on to drown out my neighbors while I got some work done around the apt and it has worked. The bright side, you ask? I will be going to through some tapes and some of those tapes, I haven't listened to like this random Beatles tape, but it was a scam because they only sing one song on it and some ripoff artist sings the rest. I might listen to it a little more closely to hear if it sounds like Harrison on guitar and the other boys on back up. Little Mraz and the Beatles and we'll be dippin' into the singles. Remember singles? Tevin Campbell, Paula Abdul, NKOTB - YEAH!

Thursday, January 04, 2007


From the square to you. If you have a hangover and you are inclined to show up to work, give yourself a break and stay at your seat unless absolutely necessary to get up. If this is a regular occurence, do yourself another favor and get some help. Without sounding self righteous, I feel sorry for alcoholics. Thankful daily does not describe the feelings I have for not being an alcoholic. I am a head. I give good and I smoke good. Inspite of the fact that alcohol is legal and dopity dope is not, I choose to smoke. I have two vices of the gluttonest kind, getting high and eating, but I stopped cigarettes, I seldom touch the drink, and I would never come to work intoxicated by anything. It is absolutely fascinating and sometimes uncomfortable to be a non-drinker who is not recovering or a child. If I had saved a nickel for everytime my mother offered me an alcoholic beverage, I'd be in LA by now. She knows I don't and yet she wants me to and it's unclear whether it is to make her feel better for partaking. After stopping cigarettes, I have found a way to look at people with this kind of debilitating addiction (please forgive if this sounds righteous again) and it encourages me to continue on a non-nioctine life. The man that lead me on this path just died a little over a month ago by way of lung cancer. This man stopped in 1983, but continued to mentor people to stop by encouraging them to smoke in his prescence and this, I believe is how the cancer crept inside. The drink can do the same to a liver, only it is not by second hand drunkeness, it is by ingesting the juice on your own. I pray for a friend who recently lost her father unexpededly, that she may find strengh in her friends and family and not pick up those cigarettes in this time of pain. I haven't been able to talk to her and I have cried every day for her pain in addition to the hope that nicotine does not make it into her bloodstream as a way to cope with this terrible loss. Crutches are good for a short period of time, but if you don't give yourself the chance to heal without them, the crutch will become a part of you that will be harder and harder to ween. Don't even get me started on the drunk driving. Here's to a safe and less alcohol-related-deaths new year!!!! Happy New Year!