Friday, April 27, 2007

Defense of the TUBE

As a product of television, I consider myself pretty freakin' lucky. I've always been on the chubbier side and played Barbies CONSTANTLY, but never once thought that I was supposed to have a waist like that nor did I think that however killing someone was fun or a regular thing. There are no false hopes, no proof of insanity or retardation for me, but television today (save some shows like 30 Rock and some mistakenly canceled shows like Arrested Development and the first season of The O.C.) is pathetic. Removing that laugh track on some brought us out a little, but reality shows put us right back in the idiot pool. As a avid supporter of television and Public Broadcasting, but as a non-conformist, I am so disappointed that though upon arrival Survivor may have been a great idea, but then why have the exact same show just slightly tweaked by 17 different names? The BBC and Canada were early sources from where I picked up comedy and get really pissed off at America for taking a show from such genius like Ricky Gervais (even though he produced it and Steve Carell is gold) and copycatting it to fit American culture. I know, I know, it's been done for years and with movies and music, too, but it just seems like we're cranking out these talented fuckers for what? To copy what doof just did 5 mins ago and capitalize on the wave is the way of it these days and I am a non-conformist that can't seem to find the heart to embrace the capitalism. Shit. That's gonna keep me poor for a long time.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Tragic and Super

If there was any other way to say, 'in the wake of tragedy', I would insert that here: blah, blah, I continue to focus on stand up comedy. In fact, this is one of the most horrific displays of why guns should not be allowed on civilian persons unless you're on COPS, meaning they are faced down with a gun in their back. There are too many retards about to give restrictions so they just say their background is being checked when it probably isn't. It is amazing that now college campuses are going to have to not only racially profile their students, monitor the knuckleheaded individuals who will now target or harass any Asian students, but start thinking that anyone on campus is capable of killing mass amounts of unprotected life. Unbelievable. Fucking unbelievable. I digress.

For the sake of keeping a promise to myself, I went ahead to the open mic tonight for the third week in a row and to my surprise, my bus buddy was there. Do you have a bus buddy? Jean is her name and she is the only person that has managed to transcend the laws of 'not talking to the folks at the bus stop'. She is a world traveler. Smart. Has studied in Dublin, London, and India among other places. She is married to an Irishman, but she herself bares no accent and doesn't wear a wedding ring. Cute, they are, as they did not show affection in front of me the other day which I found refreshing and strange. Different from the norm. Love it. She met me at the bar unannounced and was about to leave when I strolled in kind of late. My set was not the best and under the circumstances, I'm pretty damn proud of myself just for going considering my inability to be consistent and the sadness of the early week events. A friend said that he was proud of me for my recent 'sticktoitiveness' and I gladly take the compliment.

And if you have a moment and aren't completely sicked out by the way the media handled this situation and want to give a shout out in some way to the HOKIES, please feel free to do so.

peace in the middle east.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

A Never Thought of Comparison

Sam Kinnison. I was compared to Sam Kinnison. Never have thought to compare myself to him. In fact, until a few years ago, he annoyed the crap out of me. Because he was a comedian, however, I gave him the benefit of the doubt since he was obviously doing something right and if I can get passed the screaming, I'll laugh with him. Sure enough and that acceptance has lead me to here. Another part of the journey. To be a stand up comedian is abrasively uncomfortable. I want it so bad that I would give up today instead of striving for the perfection that I want to achieve as it will be a loooooong MOFO road to hoe. Last week was SOOOOO much busier than most over the last couple of years and though in retrospect it made the week go by waaaaaay faster than I like, that is something I will need to let go of and understand that a lot can be done in 15 minutes. Things can be done a lot quicker if you do it now as opposed to later. Giving the understanding of my nature and/or habits of before and now, I am slowly submerging myself a little more into the public.

Once again I will be journeying to Phyllis' Musical Inn for the second Tuesday open mic on my reemergence back into the place that is stand up comedy. I have spent just about the last 12 years avoiding that which is prescribed as antidepressants. I have taken them before and have also been in and out of therapy to deal with a breakdown in my mental state, but until 2 years ago had minimal success.

Upon graduating college after 4.5 yrs of just "getting it done", I have found that I need people to need me, but I also believe that I can't stay in just one area because of the people. I would like to, but it as it ends up all the time, people get married, have kids, move to burbs, and have a whole new life they create for themselves. That's great. It was brought to my attention most recently that I am and always will be a non-conformist. That's it. I never considered myself that, but in retrospect, again, I totally see it. The first few early examples have to do with theatre and music. In chorus, in 7th grade, we were to choose a song for our final and I chose "Here, There, and Everywhere" by The Beatles (greatest band ever). I had heard the song once before and didn't know that sheet music was not always the layout of what the band was singing on the album. It was good anyway because I did it a cappella and no one else did theirs a cappella. Being in music, but not theatre until later, I used to poo poo Phantom of the Opera and Les Miserables, because I didn't believe in the hype. These are just small examples of non-conformity.

This new understanding of myself has allowed me to relax a little in my skin and, though just a hair faster than a snail's pace, I will get myself back into the performing world.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Easter and Stuff

So this whole Jesus thing has me thinking that I don't really know how to accept him and the faith because a lot of his followers are retarded. And I mean retarded in the sense that someone took the time to create an anatomically correct(?!) Jesus out of chocolate and then there are those that have the audacity to call it blasphemous. Let it go. If you so believe in this man, that blasphemous talk should be kept to yourself because he works the opposite way from you. He would praise that person for their dedication and artistic sculpetry.

Had the luck to get to my first White Sox game of the season today, for Easter. A good friend who's parents have season tickets have had some family stuff happening and offered the tickets to me at midnight the night before the game and I certainly couldn't pass that up. It occured to me just how few friends I have in Chicago as I scrolled through my cell phone book and noticed that most live on the east or west coast and only a few remain in Chicago or other parts of the continent. That made me feel lonely. But that's ok, I am gaining my strength back even though I still get sick to my stomach if there is too much PDA . Couples are fine, but don't force it on me and it was all day at the ballpark. I'm a big girl and can handle going places by myself, but it makes my life and little more annoying when it's all I can do to not break down and accuse people of joking me for being whatever (chubby, alone, wearing pants covered in cat hair, blah, blah). I never can confirm if folks are joking me or laughing amongst themselves. I am so paranoid - Don't say it because I already know what you want to say.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

More Boring If I Tried

Hey hey. I just completed the first step in resurrecting (Easter ref) my stand up comedy career. I went to Phyllis' Musical Inn tonight to do some crackpot stand up. The ad said sign up was at 6:30 and because I'm a little gun shy by being female and being shut out of open mics because of this detail, I was gonna be first to sign up and I was the first AND only to sign up before 7:30. I actually got a buzz on tonight. I had two beers and a shot of whiskey. The set was lame, but for what it's worth in getting over stage fright was priceless. At least there were more than two peeps in there and they weren't all comedians. I ranted a bit, but it got a few laughs so I'm happy about the outcome. It served it's purpose and it will serve it's purpose again. The host was an arrogant douche from the beginning and then I realized that he is just compensating. You don't call yourself an expert unless you are a highly paid professional in that line of work or you just got fired. This kid's hosting open mic stand up and just had his first opener gig and he's calling himself an expert. Oy vey! Good times overall, the bartender, Kevin is a treat, and the place is a neat venue.