Do, but Don't

Here I am swimming in a city of creativity and douchery. There is so much that I gather from this city, but somehow I am constantly searching for the real reason of a near decade old move. This is a beautiful city and while I believe this is my place to be right now, the constant fear of inadequacy is supported by the phone calls with Mom. How am I ever going to get done what I need done when I am still living under the beliefs and guilt of my mother? I have never been a "momma" or "daddy's" girl for the record, and yet I am still finding it hard to drop everything and go out to do what I think is my calling. What is stopping me? Fear? The OCD? The crowds? The failure? The constant unknown? The desire to have a mortgage, but don't want to wait another two decades or more to get there. I want a yard and a dog.

Happy Birthday Mom! ;P

Free Ride

It has been a decade at least since I was in a musical. Upon graduation from college I already had a job working for a children's theatre touring company, but there was no music. As I auditioned for more grown up stuff, I realized I was never prepared enough. In college, I got by and landed some pretty stellar roles, but these days, my half assin' techniques will get me nowhere. I have been taking voice lessons for about a year. Progress has been made and my coach also sends out pertinent auditioning info which I am cashing in on. It was a free musical theatre workshop set up by the Actor's Equity for all actors -non and equity alike. It was extremely informative and it also helped to solidify the knowledge I walked away with from college. Most things are still generally the same sans the colored headshot. There was a panel of distinguished guests and various contributors to the Chicago stage along with 5 randomly picked auditioners. Networking eludes me and so name dropping is useless here as names are in one ear and out the other and no program was received. It has always been the process that pushed me away from performing. Haha. So so sad. Now I understand it was more ADD and low self esteem that lead me away from challenges. Memorizing lines is not my thing, but give me a song and dance and I am practicing all the time. I want to get back into the scene; I miss singing and dancing.

CC AC part 2

So tonight I remembered to get my Comcast email set up, but the chat wait is 21! The online wait is just as retarded as the call center. If you don't have Comcast, don't get it. Get something else. It's not worth the hassle if you ever need assistance. Worst service ever and even when they try to help, they still do not help you as much as you need them to do so. They point vaguely in the direction you need to go, but never can answer all your questions. Well done AC. Still suckin'.