Sunday, June 08, 2008

Do, but Don't

Here I am swimming in a city of creativity and douchery. There is so much that I gather from this city, but somehow I am constantly searching for the real reason of a near decade old move. This is a beautiful city and while I believe this is my place to be right now, the constant fear of inadequacy is supported by the phone calls with Mom. How am I ever going to get done what I need done when I am still living under the beliefs and guilt of my mother? I have never been a "momma" or "daddy's" girl for the record, and yet I am still finding it hard to drop everything and go out to do what I think is my calling. What is stopping me? Fear? The OCD? The crowds? The failure? The constant unknown? The desire to have a mortgage, but don't want to wait another two decades or more to get there. I want a yard and a dog.

Happy Birthday Mom! ;P

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