Thursday, October 23, 2008

Just Laying Around

So, what's the deal with the winnings for tipping off a crime? The reward money. Where does that money come from? How is it that you could win $100,000 being in the wrong place at the wrong time? Magic. Ridiculous. Why hasn't anyone started a company invested in putting people in the absolute worst positions to not only rip off the government, but to load up for not doing a f'n' thing (insert any company, federal institute, entertainment job, etc). Is this "reward" money just laying around in a petty cash box or tip jar? It just seems that money kind of comes out of nowhere for witnesses of crimes. I'm sure it's tax dollars, but how do they gage how many people they will need to pay for the possible lies they will tell or not as they case may be. bah. Don't try to explain it to me, I really don't want to know.

"Tom, I'd like for you to pal around with this guy Lenny, who has a history of mental illness and we believe is planning to mail letters with baking soda, used in place of a toxic substance of course, to over 50 banks. We are of the assumption that he is somewhere in Texas. Good luck."

You are a winner!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Please Please Me Beatles IPod

For some of you know that I was the unfortunate victim of car thievary this past week end. It was a loss that I was able to accept and walk away from until less than 24 hours later I realized what I had left in the car: about 80% of my music collection including my ENTIRE Beatles collection. For the past 20 years, I have had a tiny love affair with the Beatles, specifically John Lennon. When I realized the loss, my heart slid down my esophagus and out of my feet towards the front door. I gathered it back up and explained that things can be replaced and to stop believing that rich people get the breaks because they can easily replace a 20 year collection of music (well, except those wicked 90's imports from Japan - Farwell Harry Connick, Jr.'s "Greatest Hits"). Here is a plead for someone to purchase the limited edition Beatles IPod and graciously give it to me. PLEASE!!! Pretty Please Please Me with the box set that I would gladly burn on my own since I have iTunes on my computer, but have never bought or downloaded music courtesy of Apple. If only you would. If only YOU, random generous, amazing, and wonderful individual could be so helpful and loving to gladly purchase the iPod for a wonderfully dedicated Beatles fan and terrific individual. The sheer joy and appreciation YOU could receive from me just by sacrificing less than a grand on little ol' me is up to you. Are you out there, kind, wonderful friend of the Beatles with money to spare, it's me, Kathleen, the one that will promise you a friendship of mountains and possibly a payment plan to get that cash back to you if you really want me to pay for it. There are only 2500! so please pick it up fast and your Karma will be good for life! Much obliged.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

The New Petroleum

Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen to the world disclosure of the New Petroleum. It's called corn syrup. Just Google the two things together with no semi-colon, etc. and you'll find quite a few articles and blogs give examples of why the two are deadly in excess and are causing our country to fall apart. Greed helps and it led to both of these problems. Plastic can be used in place of everything non-edible and corn syrup can be added to damn near anything edible to make it taste "better" or sweet. Roughly two years ago I was overcome with a most annoying rash and not one doctor could figure out its root. Over the next two years on my own I would discover yeast and corn syrup to be the main culprits of the reactions, but I still question some of the wheat gluten products that may or may not list them. I've moved my diet to mostly organic foods now and I am trying desperately to not overeat and/or waste this expensive ass food. Gas is something I only get once a month as I take the train and bus to and from work and other times when parking gives me an ulcer. It just goes to show you that it is always a struggle for the lower incomed folks. If I didn't have a car payment, I'd be a little all right, but I also shouldn't have the debt I do and yet I still will put myself in the hole for a trip to the grocery store. Having to bring my lunch to work is difficult because I am lazy and I get bored easily. The days get harder to swallow when all you want to do is eat a juicy delicious hamburger at UFoodGrille, but you is overdrawn in yo' checkin' account and yo' ass only gots $2 in yo' pockit. And you know this, man.