Recycling, Good Words, Getting Through

Recently a massive company gave away thousands of free vacuum sealers. "What a crazy campaign!" I thought, but was glad to stand in line for two seconds and not have to fill out anything to receive not one, but TWO of these vacuum sealers. I don't cook that much to really need it and I have an issue about plastics these days (I'm learning to pick my battles), but it might help me work more with leftovers. Regardless, of the free aspect of it, today I took the vacuum thingy out of the package for a closer look and to my dismay, there is not one indicator on the package for recycling or how much of it is post consumer plastic content, etc. My theory for the massive giveaway is there was a massive goof in not having the packaging recyclable or "green" as the kids call it these days. I used to call it "hippie" or "new agey", but these days it's becoming my lifestyle. Maybe it is a win-win giveaway for the company, but I do hope they get on board with less plastic as it is a mauling and killing our environment as well as our offspring.

This past week end was host to a super duper event, Pilcrow Lit Fest, and it was smashing. The attendees and participants were a groovy mix of very cool peeps and their super friends and fans. I was obliged to volunteer at a few of the panels and learned excellent tips and stories of experience from these wonderfully creative writers, authors, publishers, bloggers, and they are all supporters and believers in the true and honest delivery of independent print. This festival has certainly inspired me to not only get back on the regular writing trip, but to get cracking on the comedy release. Well done Pilcrow folks. Cheers to next year and many more!

This has been a week of mental breakdowns and heightened self consciousness which is just obnoxious, but when the time comes and the day of bloodshed is upon us, one sometimes is unable to leave her apartment. I've also become so spazed out in my thirties that I haven't been able to watch movies all the way through. I made myself watch Ratatouille which was delightful. Patton Oswalt has always been a funny performer and he fit very well with the rest of the cast. Distraction. Then I caught most of Breakfast At Tiffany's which I had never seen. It made it more difficult leaving my apartment even though I had more or less planned to be away from it for a stretch of time both weekend days, but got a couple passes on Sunday for commitment stuff so I've been veggin' the last two days. Been somewhat productive, but it seems that they are just daily/weekly chores that pile up. When I have children, they will learn to pick up after themselves and after their mommy. Isn't that why people have children?

On Friday last I joined my friend and her fiancee at Whole Foods for a quick (not) trip to pick up some munchies for the evening. It ended up taking almost an hour. Wow. I hardly take that time when I'm shopping for two weeks of stockage. Whatever. I guess it boils down to how I feel about myself physically and add stonage and you have a highly self conscious individual. For some crazy reason I felt people looking at me strange or with pity as I did not arrive at Whole Foods at the the top of my vain game. We got almost out of the store and got caught up at the deli. They took for-fucking-ever to pick out what they wanted for the three of us to eat. I became more and more uncomfortable as I stood there in agony when all of a sudden "Who Let the Dogs Out" came over the loudspeaker considerably louder than the music that had been playing a moment before. I looked around to see more people looking in my general direction and smiling, but not in a friendly way, more so in a Nelson "haha" way. I have never felt so uncomfortable in my life. One day I won't give a shit, but until then, I shall keep dancin' along in the aisles to those songs that may or may not be dedicated to me at the grocery store.

In life I am looking for a job that incorporates environmental activism, happiness without prescription meds, and sex that involves love without depending on my pointer and index fingers.

Recycling and Pilcrow

Practicing what I preach has been a goal for sometime and though right now I am cutting some corners to save some water, the practice has become a mission and sometimes a blessing. A dear friend is hosting the literary festival Pilcrow and asked me to supply the environmental consulting. At first I thought it just meant fashioning recycling receptacles and it does, but it also means I will handle all of the recycling without help from "corporate" and/or "city" help. It must remain true to the local guys. I picked up a pallet of wood from a local landscaping business, Lake Street Landscape Supply to break apart and fashion some recycling receptacles so that they could be reused, easy to transport, and not plastic. As I realized no matter how much I loved using power tools and could hold my own, I had no idea how to blue print not only the cutting, but then the hinges. What became the most daunting task was that my one good connection with power tools moved. Plan D was to put an add in Craigs to see if someone would loan me their power tools for the afternoon or to ask for help on how to work the construction. My original idea was to acquire cheaply and/or borrow a few walkers with wheels. I think I insulted the companies I inquired with as no one responded. So sad. The initial plan was to ask local recycling resources for assistance in a pick up, but all asked for money by donation or otherwise and I totally understand. I couldn't give them numbers because I wouldn't know the exact situation for this first time venture for the recycling job and the festival itself. As a last ditch before purchasing lame plastic receptacles from Target, I went to the Salvation Army to see if they had ANYTHING suitable for what I was in need and voila! right there under the table in the middle of clothes and purses galore were these five tray tables waiting for me. A little pricier than I expected, but wouldn't you know, they were tagged with a 'made in burma' sticker. I thought, 'what a weird coincidence' because it had only been a day or two since the typhoon, but then I thought, 'are they trying to make more $ off these because of Burma?' Who knows. Whatever, so I got my recycling receptacles, but who knows how well they will work. We know that over 80 participants are ready to be on panels and I couldn't tell you how many fans will attend, so this is quite adventurous for all involved.

Yesterday I attended the Green Festival here in Chicago. 2nd year running and once again, IT WAS FABULOUS!!!! I love, love, love LOVE it that people want to save our planet. I just wish the old farts would take heed and listen to the not-only-grassroots-hippie-environmental-folks, but listen to the land and our health. They are both screaming for a change. I ain't just talking Obama, but I will shout his name from the mountain tops with pride for this country if we correctly put him in the White House.


Come out to Pilcrow! Support your local publishers, your local shops, your local farmers, your local everything! And if you publish anything, maybe think about using these guys.

Only 75 more to go...

As if I wasn't already reminded of how seemingly unmarriable I am, I must don another fucking bridesmaid dress. I am the "sister" of the groom yet again, and yet again I am made to buy a red dress that will make me look like a fucking house. YAYAYAYAYAYAY!!! It is so lame to be so negative about it, but I don't have money to buy a dress for someone I almost don't like, but because she had to go and marry one of my best friends, I am forced to be gracious and accept the cost along with the distant annoyance. I will refrain from going into full details as it is possible to hurt her feelings and I am really doing all of it for the groom. Fucking dick. I owe him nothing and yet I feel this unending need to do things for him even though he treated me with such repeated disrespect. This is the time to let it go and yet, I grow more annoyed because the bride has picked David's Bridal for the dresses and there is no David's Bridal in Chicago. It's in a 'burb and hour away. Come ON! If I weren't so damn self conscious, my wedding would all be in the nude.

For the record and a little history of my wedding involvements:
Flower girl
Altar server twice (that's right a progressive Catholic church- I didn't even have to wear a white robe and I carried the cross!)
Bridesmaid - 5 xs 6 in October
Maid of Honor
Reader
Emcee of reception
Weed provider for bride

~was supposed to be in three others and backed out of two and wasn't involved in the third because it stayed with just immediate family and I have two more on the horizon, but they will probably elope to avoid the hassle of it all. I respect them all the way. Spending that much money on one day sends me to space. Recently I was invited to a wedding with 650 guests. I.I...I..I..honestly had no idea how to digest considering the guest list AND racistly enough I expected the table of black folk I was meeting to stand out for me or for me to stand out to them, but no luck with 650 colors of the rainbow. No alcohol. I was thankful to not drink because I would have been housed in the middle of the burbs and making cracks about the grooms Aladdin suit. Traditional garb for his country sure, but ignorant white girl's fodder. Complete with the elf shoes. I almost peed my pants. Soooooo glad there was no alcohol. The brides dress was covered in multi-colored beads or jewels. Still, the sheer weight of it must have been just unnecessary. I am unable to justify the necessity, but that makes me a different type of woman. For me, it is about my man and me. I appreciate the idea of sharing with your friends and family, and I'm all about ceremony and tradition, but not all brides need a carnival to join with the love of her life.

Apparently I'm Retarded

How is it that in an "oil crisis", our only option is to drill Virginia and Alaska? How is it that the so called "stimulus" packages are only now being looked at as insignificant and frankly, another wasting of tax payer money? I'm at a loss here. Being a reformed Republican once I removed my self from the Hollywood image of Reagan, I have now become an honest bleeding heart (without the full throttle of wanted to feed ALL the poor). Sunday I began my detox from aluminum based deodorants and not only do I stink, but the more I think about why I'm doing it makes me sweat harder. Last Thursday I attended a seminar on healthy skin care products hosted by my favorite and only apothecary, Merz (and online at smallflower.com) . I once attended a similar seminar hosted by the same with Burt's Bees as the presenter (not so much of fan of Burt's since it's corporate buyout by Clorox). I tried to detox right after that, but fell ill with each passing whiff of myself, so I bailed on the task. The more I changed to natural products, the more resistant I became about changing deodorants because I naturally sweat harder than any woman I know even with the strongest of agents (Secret). Product packaging along with the ingredients of those products tend to move towards the plastic which clearly is an oil based product and just recently more talk of toxicity coming from those plastics makes me just as queasy as that first college hangover. And speaking as a city employee, the government has an awful lot of audacity to think that our lives can not survive without oil. It is absolute lunacy that we haven't addressed the FDA's "guidelines" and "laws". Plastic kills where glass only cuts or maims. Marijuana is a gift and so is the sun. We spend so much time on shit that doesn't work when these two NATURAL mother fucking resources have not been tapped into for helping offset environmental issues, health issues, and energy issues. The sun is a ball of flame just sitting there asking for us to use her and her hotness while we just sit and bathe in her toxicity using creams that contain harmful and deadly agents of wrath. The marijuana plant or hemp or pot or smokey smoke can help offset the reduction of trees, cotton, beauty products, cancer meds and pain, not to mention the amount of money the government could make off the shit and its distribution. I may not agree with all that the Democrats have given us since being the majority, but Fuck this administration for sucking the dicks of oil companies here and overseas. It is monumentally embarrassing that there is no removing of the oil in sight and we will all die because of it which just makes it difficult to get up and go to work every day. Boo hiss. Wah.

As the Horn Blows

I am woman. I am a fiesty woman. I am a chill woman. I am a woman who can handle any catastrophe that you throw my way, but if you question my knowledge one more time, I will fucking punch you in the face and rip your sac off! What is it with people not taking my ideas or believing me when I tell them the problem is real? Things have not been going well recently and I am just trying to get through the day without killing myself and those who piss me off near my personal space. Once again my car is getting fixed. More specifically, the horn of my car is being "fixed". Whether they really fix it this time or not is what concerns me the most. The horn, connected to the airbag (how convenient!!) goes off on its own, but there is virtually no way in this day and technology age to document the "mysterious" horn blowing. This issue has been going on for a year and the mechanic may be closer to believing the situation today.

We shall see. According to this forum, sounds like I am SOL!!!!!

CC AC

Comcast Assclowns. I realize lots of people have complained about the assclownery that goes on with Comcast Customer Service and I'm adding one more. Not days before I decided to put all my services on one bill with Comcast did a friend of mine rant on and on about how fucking retarded Comcast's customer service is and how he would be canceling his service to deal with another provider. I just chalked it up to my buddy having some anger management issues and customer service ineptitude until I actually had to make calls regarding a minor adjustment to my Comcast service. If you have all three services (internet, cable, and phone) there is not an "all in one" number to push on their menu, so you have to talk to each department seperately to figure out any issue you may have with your service. Nor do the other departments have a screen that indicates you just calling the other departments, so you are constantly repeating yourself. It's obominable. Waste ma time, muthah fuckah and I put a cap in yo' ass. Oh, if only violence made things better. For now, I must blog into the no-0ne-reads-my-shit oblivion.

Babbling and Vomiting

The Hippocratic Oath. Do no harm. (I am pro-choice mind you) How do some of these doctors sleep at night? The job is not to stop the issue, it is to present a cure or at the very least, to figure out the best answer and most help without raping us. Don't just stop it, fix it without suppressing. It's such a twisted issue. Have you seen the commercials for the Partnership for a Drug Free America? It's not about your brains on drugs anymore, it's about your teenage kid taking the pills for adult pain, nausea, heartburn, anxiety, blood pressure, craziness, et al. Is prescription drug abuse worse than taking Glade hits. Mind you, I've never taken a Glade hit, but I was entertained by a few incidences that were and still are hilarious. Retarded dangerous, but after the Virginia Tech shootings last year and the more recent NIU shootings, I am thankful I was able to stumble around campus wasted and completely "protected" by my college's arms. Though sad, I am more pissed off that they fucked it up for their fellow students. Forget about fear of rape at night, now you have to fear taking a class in an auditorium, eating lunch in the huge ass dining hall. I realize the digression here, but shit needs to be put into perspective. We need more attention at home. Our elderly, not to mention those not so, are being raped by pharmaceutical companies without a thought. It's not about Medicare, it's about drug prices. It all goes back to education. Education is by FAR the most important thing we need to have for everyone. Free and most excellent. It isn't hard and not nearly as costly as people would expect. If I believed in carrying a gun, I'd shoot the old bible beatin' geezers down myself, but I don't believe in carrying a weapon because I don't want that responsibility. Johnny Dickhead that cut me off a block ago will get my wrath instead of say, oh, the biggest chode of chodes sitting on top of us for the next 339 days. And either is not something that will keep me out of jail, but both might award me a medal of courage. Guns belong to a few. A handful outside of law enforcement and that includes, but not limited to the little Asian lady that owns the Jiffy Mart next to the ghetto. We have to stop hurting our own people. I hope it starts to happen before the end of this heinous term. Life is precious.

My heart goes out to all affected by these horrific shootings. And almost specifically to the shooter's father. I can only assume he is beside himself. I know I would be.