Karate Kid Bus Buddy

Ever ride the bus/train and see the same folks, but never speak? Yeah, here's one of those. When I first started taking this particular bus route, I noticed a gentleman that reminded me of Ralph Macchio. Now, granted, Ralph Macchio is much cuter, but still, the Italian I was riding the bus with gave an indication that he, too, was of the same culture, background, but not from Long Island, NY, necessarily like Macchio.



Every day I'd see this dude and every day I created more thoughts about his personality and you know, 'he kind of looks like he'd be a dick' kind of thing or 'He seems nice talking to that other bus rider'. Over the past 3 years or so, I have been observing his behavior without so much as a 'Howya doin?' from him or from me, but we would almost seemingly want to talk to each other. Well, today's the day. I get on the bus and avoid eye contact with the majority of the riders, as usual, I sit down next to no one and I look up to see a co-worker sitting next to the Ralph Macchio lookalike and he indicates they are neighbors. I indicate that we're kind of bus buddies and the RM lookin' dude smiled and agreed. Didn't get his name, but talked to both of them the whole 15 min bus ride. I so enjoy how our brains work in conjunction with the energy of the universe. I often wonder if folks on the other side of that energy feel the same way.

James of the Crazy

Have you seen the commercial where John Jameson (of the Irish whiskey) goes to save a barrel of whiskey by jumping off the side of a boat? Here it is if you have managed to miss it. My mother is a Jameson drinker as is my stepfather and my dude. Alcoholism was "normal" during my childhood, but there's a diff between functional and belligerent. My folks never abused me verbally or physically, now and again though, they may have been incredibly drunk and drove me home, but I'm alive as are they. I have encountered more belligerence in the last year than I care to admit, but there is something about Jameson. A dear friend of mine in college used to have episodes due to him drinking vodka. I still wish I had been there to see the jumbo bag of Chex Mix get sprayed all over the room (I hope you don't mind me saying it here, I won't mention your name ;) Certain alcohols do things to people and that is the most uncomfortable thing. Generally, if a person acts retarded (not PC) or "weird", it is assumed they are on drugs. It's not always true. In fact, the more I continue on with my use of a certain smokable lifesaver, I wonder how many folks out there would rather take a hit and enjoy a Coke (Mexican, non-corn syrup of course) as opposed to having an alcoholic beverage. If it's laced, it's one thing, but generally, it just slows down the situation as opposed to creating an asshole. I don't judge, but when safety is a factor, then your messin' with my emotions. I have witnessed someone go from funny, sweet, and helpful to belligerent, mean, and fucking nuts. There is a shift in the eyes and you know, it's only downhill from there. A comment given to me on my birthday that rings throughout my head the past couple of days is dirty dishwater blond hair. Seriously? I have had this hair color for the majority of my life, sans a few years where I was frosting my hair. Yes, frosting. I admit, it was near translucent in some areas, but it worked for me and my bangs. Worst insult I have ever received and I fully believe that Jameson was the fuel behind it. I can't give too much detail here as I am constantly working through this situation with breathing, understanding, and forgiveness. I walk away when it gets rough, and this bastard has me hanging on because he is SOOOO much different and good when not drowning in Jameson which, I now believe has a chemical included that makes people want to die or at least express it at the height of drunk. It is something that scares me and I will continue to treat my drunk friends with respect, but until my mother visits again, Jameson will no longer be welcome in my home. Sorry to shut out my Irish liquor buddy, but go save an octopus somewhere else.

More OK By the Day

For the past year or so I have been dating someone who protects his identity by paranoia. It's so OCD it's cute. Also, I have been a little superstitious about writing public descriptions of our journey together thus far. Both of us are no fans of how we look in pics, and it has been so long since I had this kind of love in my life that I don't want to jinx any of it. I always look forward to seeing him. These days are often tangled among moments of uncertainty and anguish for the political war we have on ourselves between the environment, war, religious views, and the constant struggle to keep life somewhat personal, not to mention the economy. It feels pretty cool to have someone to look forward to and for being able to shut out as much of the yucky junk g0ing on around us for continued adventures no matter how no immobile they may be.

I have been dating a manboy for a shade over a year. It has not been easy. There are so many things about him that make it challenging to find one word to describe him other than how my sister did- outrageous. I know that he means to shock, hear his own voice, and to be offensively funny. In most cases he means no harm. He is unbelievably sensitive, caring and snugly. He is intelligent. Adorable. Sweet eyes. Deep dimples. Great, strong arms. He's not techie or a gamer. A couple years younger which is why he gets the pass on some of the immaturity. He opens doors for me consistently. He is loud and can be obnoxious, but is very intelligent by a host of experiences from growing up here in Chicago. Blue collar family, but was in musicals and plays in high school. He works for a theatrical lighting company now (we didn't meet by way of theatre). Got kicked out of seminary school. He's atheist. I am agnostic. We get along and are a good match - similar, with some polar opposite mixed in. He allows me to see some behavior I have developed throughout my life and had not tapped into before. Some of it is not easy to deal with, but most possibility for positivity. We have the Sunday morning I've wanted for a long time. I enjoy my weekends again.

Cheers to the epiphany had yesterday. It made for a fantastic release of anxiety bottled up for sometime. Finally after the last 5 years of gaining experience and up to date knowledge, I have made an excellent breakthrough in my environmental work. Please check out what I did yesterday.

If you haven't checked it out - Leen On Conservation

Being Green Taken Further

I may have been a slackass on this blog here, but I have been otherwise occupied with more physical activities including, but not limited to the wonderful worlds of sustainability and humanity. I have created another blog that will chronicle my continuous work in science and climate change education. If you have a minute, please check out my blog on conservation.

http://leenonconservation.blogspot.com/

Much love! I plan to write more on here and there, but new developments in my life do not allow me to be as cavalier with my words unfortunately. Alas, things are OK, just not as open as they used to be. Let there be more openness going forward, so that I do not have to keep my thoughts to myself. Much obliged.

New Blog

Visit my new blog, too!

I'll continue to work out the words on Stomach again as well.

Comedy Shared by Pain

Sharing comedy makes at least two people laugh. If for any moment you have an opportunity to laugh, take it. Squander it, if you will, to reach back into it later for more comfort when time permits unfortunate circumstances. My brother was diagnosed with Stage 4 Melanoma last week. If you know me, and know that I haven't blogged in almost a year, you know my friends and family have been hit pretty hard with that unfortunate slice of disease in almost all forms. In the last two weeks, I have seen/heard live comedy from Gilbert Gottfried and Louie CK. Highly offensive, yet hysterically funny gentlemen that speak in extreme contexts. I recommend people breaking up the pain with some comedy that makes your brain go there and then some and do this with someone with whom you can share. I was fortunate to share these comedy experiences with someone new in my life and find it comforting to know, he also enjoys the art of stand up comedy as much as I do. Release and relate (not sexual - although that's a good release, too ;-). I received the news of my brother yesterday from my mother who didn't want to tell me, but I explained that chances are, my brother wouldn't announce it to me anyway, so probably best that she share with me. Laugh more, if you can. I recommend it and I don't claim to be an expert in comedy or pain, but I do happen to have some extra baggage filled with both subjects that could be construed as more experience than some and in some cases more than anyone would want to bare. Laugh, I tell you, please laugh.

Takin' Its Toll a Little Late

Since the release of Andrew Lloyd Webber's Phantom of the Opera, I have been a staunch non-conformist. I have never regretted my decision to dismiss that show no matter how much of a fan of that type of theatre I was and still tend to be. Today I was greeted with three CDs in the mailbox. (Thank you Amazon.com) All three were Maroon 5. I admit it. I'm late. As goes the usual. In 2003 I was prithee to my first DVD recording (got 2 under my belt now) in Milwaukee at the ever interesting Eagle's Ballroom. A good pal of mine was recording his DVD and had this obscure (at least to me) band opening for him for this DVD shoot. He, like always, encouraged me to hear the opening bands, but being the person that I was and in some ways still am, the type that wants to see what's going on backstage. I am a bummed that I didn't introduce myself to Adam Levine and the band when I had the chance. His voice has been haunting me for a few months and I finally broke down and because I still live in 1996, I bought 3 cheap CDs that, as I type this, have already paid for themselves. I can already say that the acoustic album is my favorite - and it has nothing to do with the Beatles "If I Fell" or "Highway to Hell" covers (the latter gets a giggle even though it was a good try). As for Phantom, I appreciate the music and certainly the original cast, but I still don't need to see it nor do I regret not seeing it. Thanks for reviving my need for new music Maroon 5. Have a great tour!

It Won't Be Soon Before Long
Songs About Jane
1.22.03 Acoustic