Blackbird

How we are so progressive and so antiquated at the same time is beyond me.  And most of it stems in violence and morals.  Obama spoke on the Trayvon Martin case and it wasn't a moment too soon.  Last night I went to the wake of a 25 year old man gunned down on the streets of Chicago.  Sitting in his car.  Now, I have no idea what he was doing there, but it wasn't a good place to be nonetheless.  It occurred to me that I have only been to one other service for a young person and that was my lovely best friend Jenn.  Not a day goes by that I don't wish I had her to consult and laugh with and get yelled at by.  Dearest.  This young man was that to someone, too, his mother.  His mother is a dear woman, kind soul, and strong.  She is also a dear friend.  As I entered the chapel, an overwhelming sense of loss struck me.  I have not really cried at a funeral or wake in a very long time.  Jenn's cry came later because somehow without us trying to miss it, believe me, we were just late enough to miss the service and eulogies.  We drove 17 hours straight through-Chicago to the Eastern Shore of Virginia.  I drove 17 hours straight through because I refused to be left to my own thoughts in the back seat.  I can cry at a commercial or an awards show really easily, but death is something I've known about my whole life and very seldom cry during a service.  I couldn't hold it together for my friend yesterday.  I'm usually much more composed in that setting, but it took me somewhere I've never been; and that was in the middle of Englewood, paying respects to someone I'd never met after he was killed on the streets and he was my friend's son.  I just wanted to keep hugging her.  Having said all of this.  Obama compared himself to Trayvon Martin.  I compare my friend and the loss of her son to any other parent who loses a child, old or young.  Beyond race, creed, sexual orientation, military affiliation, afflictions, hairstyles, clothing, cars, houses, lifestyles, decisions, addictions...no parent should have to see their child pass before them.  For Jenn's husband and her mom I may have cried the most.  That's your girl.  She was your sunshine.  It broke my heart in so many places; I can't imagine the pain they felt.  I felt a similar pain for my friend when I saw her yesterday and I had no control over my tears for my friend, her husband and family.  No parent should have to bury their child, no matter what.  I feel for Trayvon Martin's parents on many levels and most of it comes from anger.  Anger because of ignorance on all sides.  A young boy lost his life- in both cases.  Perhaps they could have been prevented.  Both were in their cars.  Both should have moved along in their car.  No parent should have to lose their child to death.  

This week has been a roller coaster of emotion and it was all connected.  Sir Paul McCartney played Blackbird at his concert in Milwaukee this week and as much as I would like to share a more recent version of the song, I'm not really interested in sharing a crowd singing along.  It's distracting.  Sir Paul singing live in 1975.  Blackbird.  

http://youtu.be/c_SrYqLrljU

p.s.
I did have a really hard time with the passing of Davy Jones of the Monkees.  He was a major influence on the Beatles, don't you know.  ;-)  

http://youtu.be/fRNFus7Pbp4



   

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Moral Calamity

The last few (3 or so) years I have been on a board for a neighborhood community group. They have been in business since 1979. A month ago the president of the board stepped down and I was elected as the replacement. It is an organization that is about to go under (yay- with my name on it!). This organization is in the red and my full belief is that the Executive Director is the person to blame, but guess what, she stepped down on January 3 to pursue her degree to become a counselor. I believe in people and I certainly understand when we are met with challenges, but this organization has been tanking since she has been in the ED position and I am two steps away from filing a lawsuit claiming she should be responsible for the demise of the organization as she burned every bridge that was in place. Now, I have only been part of the organization for going on 4 years, but my impression has remained the same of this person - appearing at events for her publicity, little work, no creative vision, and relatively ignorant to keeping up with fundraising alternatives to grants. I found out last week how much we were paying her. Too much for her to do as little as she does/did. With this situation, my brain is really having a hard time with non-profits and charities. My brother-in-law (soon to be ex) has worked for the American Cancer Society and the Ocean Conservancy. He is an asshole. He's the guy that takes the investors and sponsors to play golf, go to titty bars, etc. He is the biggest douche-bag and when I found out that people like that work for organizations that are typically looked at as a bleeding heart org, or at least that's what I thought, I started really evaluating how I donate to those large charities/non-profits. I'm disgusted. I've never been so disgusted about what I looked at as operating for the greater good. I've always had a conservative view on the WIC, Welfare, Food Stamps, and Link programs and how people could use cash to pay for alcohol. Not that I have anything against alcohol (whole other discussion), but I would watch folks come in to the grocery store when I was a checker in college and would just be so disgusted that the kid would need a new jacket, but the parent would throw down $20, with her new manicure mind you, on alcohol and use WIC to get the food for the children. On some level I still believe in it because there are folks out there legitimately using the programs, but then you get a large portion just abusing the shit out of the government.

I am holding a steaming pile of poop with a $7,000 price tag on it for someone who was benefiting herself. One problem, it's just payroll taxes that we need to pay off, but it's difficult to raise money for that and even worse, inappropriate to apply for grants if that is all you are going to pay for. Another problem is, I'm the only one that thinks the ED was benefiting herself subsequently putting the organization in jeopardy. I have virtually no grounds to bring any lawsuit against her for being irresponsible, prejudice against Polish folk, and misappropriating funds as I feel the other board members will revolt because I'm a newbie. WTF do I know about the situation. I know what I know and I will say that of my skills intuition and judgement of character are two of my strongest.

One more thing. I have offered on several occasions to do fundraisers with conservation themed events. Why? Because those are the resources I bring to the table. When they asked me to be on the board, this is what I brought to the table. Repeatedly my ideas have been shot down, poo-pooed and skeptically listened to. They have missed 6 opportunities to raise money for the organization just in the past year. If you run a non-profit, wouldn't you want to be open to ANY and ALL legitimate opportunities for fundraising even if it's a small amount that may be raised?

To say the least, my New Year has not started with the greatest of situations. I am on blood pressure medicine at my age already, I don't need to die of a stroke because someone else' bills got transferred to my problem list.

Ozzie Guillen

Ozzie Guillen, the present coach for the Chicago White Sox, crossed in front of my man's car in Wicker Park this evening.  It was one of those things where I noticed him right away, but not for who he was, but what he was about to do.  My honey, Chris, and I were driving west on North Ave, well trying to anyway, and we had to stop for traffic already, so we let a couple jaywalk across from the Chase (bank).  There was a gentleman coming out of the Chase about 40 yards behind them and I was figuring since traffic was stopped he would attempt the same.  Glad Chris is as much of a conscientious driver as I am and saw the man.  He had some facial hair going on, but at a second look from 10 ft away it struck me like a wave of joy.  It's Ozzie Guillen.  I had so much to say.  I wanted to talk to him about yesterday's game since I was at the game (8.31.11), but there was no time.  I couldn't get my phone out fast enough to take a picture, so I decided to say something.  The window was already down and I said, "Good to see you, sir.  Love you, man."  He smiled and thanked me.  He smiled the whole time.  I hope it was a true smile and not a "fan smile", you know, the one they have until you're out of sight?   I sure handled myself better than I did with Harry Connick, Jr.  Most embarrassing moment of my life.  I don't love Ozzie as much as Harry, but equally respected.  I love the Chicago White Sox.  Thank you Brent Fox for introducing me to this team and helping me learn to love the game of baseball.  Other Dawg! !!

Frank Deford did a spot on NPR recently about the longevity of baseball season.  I have to say, with all due respect, I believe to each his own.  I love a long season especially if the Sox are in it all the way to the World Series.  Baseball is awesome. 

(little tiny Ozzie in the left hand corner leaning at the fence in the dugout)


I shared a smile with Ozzie Guillen today.  'Thank you' was what I did not get out of my mouth before you hurriedly went east and we went west on North.  You have a lovely smile, sir.  Let's get these boys to the World Series again!!  DOOOOOO iiiiiiiiittttt!!!!

Go Go White Sox!   


-If anyone reading this can prove Ozzie Guillen was in Wicker Park last night (9.1.11 -the White Sox were off which helped fuel the 'it has to be him' situation) please let me know.  I'd like to confirm my spastic reaction today.   

Bert and Ernie

Losing any loved one is heartbreaking and sometimes difficult to get over, but most overcome and move on positively. Each partner, kin, guardian should have a say in how to take care of their loved ones' personal effects. When the stage collapsed at the Indiana State Fair taking with it 5 victims, Indiana did not see the lawsuits coming, but now the 7th victim has been claimed and there's a twist. A bit ago, a Facebook group was calling for Sesame Street to have Bert & Ernie get married. In my whole life before understanding LGBT lifestyles, I never once suspected Bert and Ernie of being gay. Even after learning of some perceptions of the roommates, I still could not picture the two of them doing it or better still, the thought never crossed my mind until just now. I'll support the decision by the Sesame Street reps by saying they are friends - great friends that have lived together too long to complicate it, but they are Muppets and yes, we're in a Team America mindset, but I don't want to even think about it. The uproar of folks pushing to get these guys married makes me sad thinking that the state of Indiana does not recognize civil unions especially LGBT civil unions no matter if they are legal in other states. A lesbian couple, who married recently in Hawaii, has had to bear the pain of losing their partner because of the stage collapse. Losing your life partner is a horrible tragedy hetero or otherwise and Indiana better figure out something fast or this tragedy is going to present more traffic than any facebook page. Well, maybe not facebook's page itself. I hope Indiana does the right thing.

Paul McCartney at Wrigley Field, Monday August 1, 2011.

I had reserved myself to the fact that I may never see a Beatle live in concert. That notion has been squashed and now I have no regret. John was always my favorite - always. I never really liked the "cute" one for early non-conformist reasons, but also I felt closer to Lennon even at age 12. I don't know that I would pass up a free ticket to see Ringo, but something tells me I won't have to make that decision. Love the George, too, but sadly, I'll just have to keep listening to the Concert for Bangladesh.

My buddy called me at work yesterday after we had not talked in over a month as we both have been busy. I thought she was just returning my call from Sunday, but little did we know that as we are talking, she receives an offer via text for 2 tickets to the show that night. Uhm..how can Yes come out of my mouth any faster? I abhore Wrigley as a clubhouse, but love baseball and for reasons of classic baseball, the field is just lovely and historic. I've now seen a few shows there, but they were not "great" because of the crowd. Last night was almost no different, but the concert meant more. Inevitably, I get to sit next to other "free" ticket recipients who clearly had no idea the legend they were witnessing as they talked through the whole first 1/2 of the show. Cell phone use and then just yelling over the concert. For fear of increasing their gab, I just plugged my ear with my middle finger hoping they would catch my passive aggressiveness, but after awhile a man behind them yelled, "Stop fucking talking!!". It was beautiful. Within 5 mins, they had left. A new couple sat down, two dudes, father and son, I'm guessing. This guy next to me proceeds to remove and replace his phone to and from his pocket literally every min or 2. Just leave the phone out you tard. I was just happy he didn't make a peep even though he almost poked my eye out twice for reaching in front of me to take a pic. What is wrong with people? Years ago, I had the pleasure of seeing a Dave Matthews/Tim Reynolds show at the Landmark Theater in Richmond, Virginia. Great venue. Great duo. Shitty crowd. This was one of those "recorded" shows and the crowd knew it, which made them more obnoxious about shouting throughout the show just to get their voice on the recording. I kind of get it when people talk during songs they don't know, but last night, the crowd was actually talking during "Blackbird". How the fuck do you talk through "Blackbird"?!!! Are you fucking serious? So thankful I've not been given the right to carry a concealed weapon as I would be blogging from jail today. Paul is a fantastic performer. He was really fantastic. His band is a'ight, but nothing phenomenal or anything. I was a little shocked they played "Helter Skelter", but aside from the lame camera work, it was awesome. Hearing "Blackbird", "Hey Jude", and "A Day in the Life" live made my year. Too bad Paul had to wear a white shirt that would not allow my camera to take any kind of pic of him. He looked like a bright, glowing, rocking ghost. The pic is during "Live and Let Die". The pyrotechnics were unbelievably controlled and good.

Rememberances

9 years ago today, I lost my best friend to cervical cancer. I remember feeling so much guilt that I did not spend more quality time with her while she was sick. The worst part of it, she would call to hear about my stuff, not think about hers. I couldn't get passed hers. After she passed I befriended a woman who had recently been diagnosed with Hogdkins Lymphoma. She and I became fast friends as she realized, most of her "friends" had deserted knowing she was sick. She handled chemo well on her own, but we spent almost every day together laughing, mocking, acting a fool, and enjoying it. She was a trouper just like Jenn, but in this case instead of losing the friend to death, I lost it to good health and ego. I no longer speak to either of them. One for death and one for being a douche. Cancer is a funny thing. It hits people differently, but it now hits everyone. It's not a closet disease anymore where you don't talk about it. It's talked about a lot. The topic comes up more now than 9/11. Today is a day of celebration, not complaining, so let me kick that out. My lady was a delightful, smart, beautiful, loving, and a silly individual. As a mutual buddy said, "Jenn is getting heaven ready for us". Jenn was a brilliant stage manager. She will have it so ready, it will make Martha Stewart look like Bin Laden's decorator.

Love you Jenn! You are greatly missed and so fondly remembered!

Put Some Rice On It or Rather...

Put your cell phone in the rice, wait, and hope. I thought he was kidding as the US Cellular rep says to me instead of willingly trying to get me to spend more money, "Did you put it in a bag of rice?" I understood the concept, but so strange when that was literally the 3rd thing he said to me and #1 was "Hello".

Note to self, always make sure your water bottle is completely closed before you put it in the purse. Duly noted.

This is the kind of shit that will make me laugh, but also put me over. Too bad I can't soak up my anger with rice. I'd lose some weight, too.

Support Our National Community, Por Favor

Presently our country is undergoing an exhausting amount of 8th grade bs. Having said that, there are quite a few opportunities in life we are handed that allow us to contribute to our own better America. Some may think that immigrants don't belong, but others feel they are the foundation of America and how could we deny them the opportunity their ancestors were so fortunate to experience. For the past year or so, I have been a Board member of The Northwest Neighborhood Federation. We provide a helpful variety of community services that range from English classes to neighborhood safety. We thrive on local efforts, but in this economy, our resources are both coveted and thinning. NNF is celebrating 32 years of community service and would like to invite you to our annual fundraiser. Provided below is more information about the organization and its efforts.

Northwest Neighborhood Federation’s mission is to improve the quality of life of residents on Chicago’s Northwest Side. We do this by building powerful campaigns that involve large numbers of neighbors to identify problems, educate each other on the possibilities to resolve the most critical issues of common concern, residents and local leadership have become empowered and thereby assumed a greater role in the civic life of the neighborhood.

Current community campaigns:

Education: English as a Second Language (ESL) Classes for adult residents in the community. Education Committee focusing on relieving over-crowdedness in our local schools, which is a pressing issue for our community at this time.

-Immigration: Citizenship Workshops and Informational Sessions with Pro-Bono Immigration Attorneys are provided to Legal Permanent Residents. Personal appointments are available.

-Neighborhood Safety: Local area residents come together to form Community Block Clubs in order to create a better sense of community and find ways of keeping the neighborhood safe.

-Road Trips: Springfield to support the Dream Act. And to Washington, DC to support immigration.

Please help keep these services available by joining us for our annual fundraiser.

Fundraiser Info:

Wed July 20, 2011

6pm

Veranda Inn

5700 W. Irving Park Road

The cost is $25 per person.

And if you are unable to join us, but you would like to support NNF's services, please send donations by way of information below. Thank you and hope we see you on Wednesday!

Northwest Neighborhood Federation
People United for their Community

3249 N. Central Ave., Chicago, IL 60634
Phone 773-282-9807 Fax 773-282-082

Karate Kid Bus Buddy

Ever ride the bus/train and see the same folks, but never speak? Yeah, here's one of those. When I first started taking this particular bus route, I noticed a gentleman that reminded me of Ralph Macchio. Now, granted, Ralph Macchio is much cuter, but still, the Italian I was riding the bus with gave an indication that he, too, was of the same culture, background, but not from Long Island, NY, necessarily like Macchio.



Every day I'd see this dude and every day I created more thoughts about his personality and you know, 'he kind of looks like he'd be a dick' kind of thing or 'He seems nice talking to that other bus rider'. Over the past 3 years or so, I have been observing his behavior without so much as a 'Howya doin?' from him or from me, but we would almost seemingly want to talk to each other. Well, today's the day. I get on the bus and avoid eye contact with the majority of the riders, as usual, I sit down next to no one and I look up to see a co-worker sitting next to the Ralph Macchio lookalike and he indicates they are neighbors. I indicate that we're kind of bus buddies and the RM lookin' dude smiled and agreed. Didn't get his name, but talked to both of them the whole 15 min bus ride. I so enjoy how our brains work in conjunction with the energy of the universe. I often wonder if folks on the other side of that energy feel the same way.

James of the Crazy

Have you seen the commercial where John Jameson (of the Irish whiskey) goes to save a barrel of whiskey by jumping off the side of a boat? Here it is if you have managed to miss it. My mother is a Jameson drinker as is my stepfather and my dude. Alcoholism was "normal" during my childhood, but there's a diff between functional and belligerent. My folks never abused me verbally or physically, now and again though, they may have been incredibly drunk and drove me home, but I'm alive as are they. I have encountered more belligerence in the last year than I care to admit, but there is something about Jameson. A dear friend of mine in college used to have episodes due to him drinking vodka. I still wish I had been there to see the jumbo bag of Chex Mix get sprayed all over the room (I hope you don't mind me saying it here, I won't mention your name ;) Certain alcohols do things to people and that is the most uncomfortable thing. Generally, if a person acts retarded (not PC) or "weird", it is assumed they are on drugs. It's not always true. In fact, the more I continue on with my use of a certain smokable lifesaver, I wonder how many folks out there would rather take a hit and enjoy a Coke (Mexican, non-corn syrup of course) as opposed to having an alcoholic beverage. If it's laced, it's one thing, but generally, it just slows down the situation as opposed to creating an asshole. I don't judge, but when safety is a factor, then your messin' with my emotions. I have witnessed someone go from funny, sweet, and helpful to belligerent, mean, and fucking nuts. There is a shift in the eyes and you know, it's only downhill from there. A comment given to me on my birthday that rings throughout my head the past couple of days is dirty dishwater blond hair. Seriously? I have had this hair color for the majority of my life, sans a few years where I was frosting my hair. Yes, frosting. I admit, it was near translucent in some areas, but it worked for me and my bangs. Worst insult I have ever received and I fully believe that Jameson was the fuel behind it. I can't give too much detail here as I am constantly working through this situation with breathing, understanding, and forgiveness. I walk away when it gets rough, and this bastard has me hanging on because he is SOOOO much different and good when not drowning in Jameson which, I now believe has a chemical included that makes people want to die or at least express it at the height of drunk. It is something that scares me and I will continue to treat my drunk friends with respect, but until my mother visits again, Jameson will no longer be welcome in my home. Sorry to shut out my Irish liquor buddy, but go save an octopus somewhere else.

More OK By the Day

For the past year or so I have been dating someone who protects his identity by paranoia. It's so OCD it's cute. Also, I have been a little superstitious about writing public descriptions of our journey together thus far. Both of us are no fans of how we look in pics, and it has been so long since I had this kind of love in my life that I don't want to jinx any of it. I always look forward to seeing him. These days are often tangled among moments of uncertainty and anguish for the political war we have on ourselves between the environment, war, religious views, and the constant struggle to keep life somewhat personal, not to mention the economy. It feels pretty cool to have someone to look forward to and for being able to shut out as much of the yucky junk g0ing on around us for continued adventures no matter how no immobile they may be.

I have been dating a manboy for a shade over a year. It has not been easy. There are so many things about him that make it challenging to find one word to describe him other than how my sister did- outrageous. I know that he means to shock, hear his own voice, and to be offensively funny. In most cases he means no harm. He is unbelievably sensitive, caring and snugly. He is intelligent. Adorable. Sweet eyes. Deep dimples. Great, strong arms. He's not techie or a gamer. A couple years younger which is why he gets the pass on some of the immaturity. He opens doors for me consistently. He is loud and can be obnoxious, but is very intelligent by a host of experiences from growing up here in Chicago. Blue collar family, but was in musicals and plays in high school. He works for a theatrical lighting company now (we didn't meet by way of theatre). Got kicked out of seminary school. He's atheist. I am agnostic. We get along and are a good match - similar, with some polar opposite mixed in. He allows me to see some behavior I have developed throughout my life and had not tapped into before. Some of it is not easy to deal with, but most possibility for positivity. We have the Sunday morning I've wanted for a long time. I enjoy my weekends again.

Cheers to the epiphany had yesterday. It made for a fantastic release of anxiety bottled up for sometime. Finally after the last 5 years of gaining experience and up to date knowledge, I have made an excellent breakthrough in my environmental work. Please check out what I did yesterday.

If you haven't checked it out - Leen On Conservation

Being Green Taken Further

I may have been a slackass on this blog here, but I have been otherwise occupied with more physical activities including, but not limited to the wonderful worlds of sustainability and humanity. I have created another blog that will chronicle my continuous work in science and climate change education. If you have a minute, please check out my blog on conservation.

http://leenonconservation.blogspot.com/

Much love! I plan to write more on here and there, but new developments in my life do not allow me to be as cavalier with my words unfortunately. Alas, things are OK, just not as open as they used to be. Let there be more openness going forward, so that I do not have to keep my thoughts to myself. Much obliged.

New Blog

Visit my new blog, too!

I'll continue to work out the words on Stomach again as well.

Comedy Shared by Pain

Sharing comedy makes at least two people laugh. If for any moment you have an opportunity to laugh, take it. Squander it, if you will, to reach back into it later for more comfort when time permits unfortunate circumstances. My brother was diagnosed with Stage 4 Melanoma last week. If you know me, and know that I haven't blogged in almost a year, you know my friends and family have been hit pretty hard with that unfortunate slice of disease in almost all forms. In the last two weeks, I have seen/heard live comedy from Gilbert Gottfried and Louie CK. Highly offensive, yet hysterically funny gentlemen that speak in extreme contexts. I recommend people breaking up the pain with some comedy that makes your brain go there and then some and do this with someone with whom you can share. I was fortunate to share these comedy experiences with someone new in my life and find it comforting to know, he also enjoys the art of stand up comedy as much as I do. Release and relate (not sexual - although that's a good release, too ;-). I received the news of my brother yesterday from my mother who didn't want to tell me, but I explained that chances are, my brother wouldn't announce it to me anyway, so probably best that she share with me. Laugh more, if you can. I recommend it and I don't claim to be an expert in comedy or pain, but I do happen to have some extra baggage filled with both subjects that could be construed as more experience than some and in some cases more than anyone would want to bare. Laugh, I tell you, please laugh.

Takin' Its Toll a Little Late

Since the release of Andrew Lloyd Webber's Phantom of the Opera, I have been a staunch non-conformist. I have never regretted my decision to dismiss that show no matter how much of a fan of that type of theatre I was and still tend to be. Today I was greeted with three CDs in the mailbox. (Thank you Amazon.com) All three were Maroon 5. I admit it. I'm late. As goes the usual. In 2003 I was prithee to my first DVD recording (got 2 under my belt now) in Milwaukee at the ever interesting Eagle's Ballroom. A good pal of mine was recording his DVD and had this obscure (at least to me) band opening for him for this DVD shoot. He, like always, encouraged me to hear the opening bands, but being the person that I was and in some ways still am, the type that wants to see what's going on backstage. I am a bummed that I didn't introduce myself to Adam Levine and the band when I had the chance. His voice has been haunting me for a few months and I finally broke down and because I still live in 1996, I bought 3 cheap CDs that, as I type this, have already paid for themselves. I can already say that the acoustic album is my favorite - and it has nothing to do with the Beatles "If I Fell" or "Highway to Hell" covers (the latter gets a giggle even though it was a good try). As for Phantom, I appreciate the music and certainly the original cast, but I still don't need to see it nor do I regret not seeing it. Thanks for reviving my need for new music Maroon 5. Have a great tour!

It Won't Be Soon Before Long
Songs About Jane
1.22.03 Acoustic

Racists at Best - Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh

GLENN BECK AND RUSH LIMBAUGH CAN SUCK MY MOTHER FUCKING DICK!!! I hate you both. At the end of the fucking day, you both CAN and WILL go to fucking hell. The heavens will open and not a lightning bolt, but a nuclear bomb will seek you BOTH out and blow YOU BOTH the FUCK up. FUCK YOU for both dogging out Chicago not getting the Olympics. YOU BOTH FAT MOTHER FUCKERS SHOULD BE ASHAAAAAAAMMMMMED OF YOURSELVES FOR THE WORDS YOU USE AND SHARE!

YOU BOTH ARE MORE UNPATRIOTIC THAN THE ENTIRE KKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND QUITE FRANKLY, HITLER WAS AT LEAST A GIFTED ARTIST!!!! YOU BOTH SHOULD BE SHOT ON SITE. There is no excuse for both your sorry selves. Lest thou be reminded of the FREEDOM THAT YOU BOTH HAVE TO VOICE YOUR STUPID, FUCKED UP, HYPOCRITICAL OPINIONS AND MOST UNPATRIOTIC WORDS.

Again. SUCK MY MOTHER FUCKING DICK, YOU PIECES OF TURDS INFESTED BY RETARDED FUCKING MAGGOTS. I hope both of YOUR FUCKING mothers are DEAD so that they do not live in the SHAMED light of YOUR VOMITOUS, UNCONSCIONABLE, IRRESPONSIBLE AND UNFORGIVABLE BEINGS. EAT SHIT, DIE and then LET US ALL PISS IN YOUR MOUTHS- OOOPS you may like it. Well consider that your last meal. FUCKING FUCK NUTS.

STOP FUCKING TALKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's All Too Much

The Beatles are my TuPac. I have not acquired all that is Beatles or derivatives of the genius. Back when my car was stolen all the CD's inside went with it so I had asked friends to share some of their collection that may or may not be something lost. My musically inclined good friend Sarah and her equally if not slightly more musically inclined fiancee gave me some gems including Yellow Submarine which is one of the only albums I had not acquired in my 20 years of adoration. Honestly, the yellow kept me away. Seriously. Not sure the reason even after years of encouragement, but it took me seeing LOVE in Vegas to really appreciate the songs I had not heard before or seldom and probably didn't know it was the Beatles. No offense to all else that happened in Vegas, but LOVE was the best thing about the trip. I've not been the same person since the trip. I am not sure if it is good or bad, but things have been more than just off since and because of the gravity and length of some of these things that have happened over the last 6 months or so and most within the same week of each other if not only a week or two apart, I'll just sum up the points good or bad- roughly in chronological order.

Nov 08 - sister diagnosed with breast cancer
Dec 08 - sister to have double mastectomy (pity she had great breasts)
ffw:
May 7 - My birthday - Vegas: Valley of Fire, Red Rock Canyon, LOVE (stellar day)
May 8 - in Vegas; Time share debacle = illness= missing poolside buddy hang time; made up with evening/early am buddy hang time - LOVE YOU!
May 9 - still in Vegas and no kind of heat make it any better; great concerts by DMB and Jason Mraz and some more buddy hang time.
May 10 - more heat. Same thing in most casinos. My travel buddy Laurie was awesome to put up with my complaints, idiosyncrasies, and dramatics. It was great to see some good and old buddies! Thanks Vegas.
May 14 - More car trouble almost made me cancel road trip to Richmond/Va Beach then Mom calls to announce she has breast cancer before I go on the trip after I've been contemplating not going
May 15 - Drive Chicago to Richmond, Va - Stay with awesome bro Matt and sis-in law Jennifer with their retarded children (they're not retarded- quite the opposite, in fact so much the opposite that I feel like a retard) Henry and Truman
May 16 - T- ball with bro and nephew Henry - so cute. Then almost late to friend Nancy's wedding- comical running around the church trying to find the door to enter. Reception was lovely - held at Bank. Met good buddies Melissa and Barry at the church and forgot about seeing Paul which made the reception and later evening just delightful.
May 17 - Hang with a few more friends and some family time.
May 18- Drive to Virginia Beach and relax for a few minutes
May 19 - Drs apps - Mom
May 20 - Drs app - Jim (my stepdad), Virginia Beach's first Trader Joe's with Mom, then local farm for veggies, dinner at Lynnhaven Fishouse, my now ex-sis- in law that hasn't seen my other sister Terry in 5 yrs shows up, then my sis and her 3 kids + 1 friend descend
May 21 - My other bro Mike in Va Beach's birthday and his eldest son, Taylor, gets kicked out of (correctional) school 3 weeks before graduating for smoking weed. (Mike just married his 2nd wife, Michelle, in early May- that's a whole other blog in itself).
May 22 - Hung out with some good old Va Beach buddies - Michael and me went to Chick's, then Kandis came over to hang, but didn't get to cover all bases.
May 23 - Birthday dinner celebration for Jim; All the kids and their kids and Jim's sis and her husband, and some other friends - on into the evening and find out my oldest nephew is such a hood that 15 cops raided my ex-sis-in-law's house because they were looking for graffiti tagging evidence. Holy schnikeys. (update - Nephew Taylor is in jail for 30 days for graffiti tagging with a magic marker)
May 24 - Drive Va Beach to Chicago with a 4 hour delay in Kentucky. Got to Kentucky to see Ken and Kathy around 10pm. So good to see them. We visited until about 2:30am and then I had just about 5 hours left to Chicago. Got home, unpacked (rental) car and went directly to Whole Foods to get groceries because I was unsure if I was going to have a functioning car after I dropped off the rental. Mem Day. Enterprise Car Rental is closed.
May 25 - veg.
May 26 - Return rental in morning. Worked all day. Go to mechanic after work to find out that nothing had been done with the car and come to find out the $1300 work needing to be done was covered under warranty after I spent $400+ on a rental car.

Amidst all of these situations, my boss got a promotion which brought me up without paid compensation. Today she tells me that I am not "available" enough and that my work right now does not merit the increase. Ah, good times. What greeted me when I got home today ? One of the barking fucking Cocker fucking Spaniels next door bit me. Love this country!

Consequently, my mother starts chemo next Wed.

The title of this post is in reference to the last track on Yellow Submarine.

Community Diving

(Originally posted for 4.16.09)
Tonight was the area Block Club meeting and our discussion was about safety for the community around one of the neighborhood high schools. I was given the heavy task of chairing the meeting. It was ok. I've spoken in front of crowds before and somewhat on a whim, but this was a passionate and upset group of folks that wanted some answers from the principal and the local police districts. I've attended two meetings prior to this, and neither were in that space, had that many people attend, and it was to be held like a panel discussion. The most compelling piece was when a woman dressed in a very sensible pantsuit with a bag carrying a baseball bat, a broom handle, a thick steel metal pipe, a knife, and assortment of other smaller weapons that may have been used or were intended to be used by students passing by. She then pulled out a rock about the size of a softball and proceeded to demonstrate how the "group" would gather keeping watch on a certain car parked on the block and once that car was driving past the "group" then they would throw these rocks at the car. Compelling. There had been no hard evidence to be proven other than the calls that are actually made to the police, until now. The whole meeting now has pitted the principal of the problem school become very defensive and uncooperative. This post comes after several Chicago Public School children have been killed in drive bys and then preceded many that have been killed since.

Pivotal If Not Just Awesome

Not to gloat, but I have a sweet arsenal of kick ass friends. Thank you Facebook. It is just a sheer treat to not only see these faces again, but to also understand how much they mean to me every day of my life without being in contact with them. Today alone brought a friend back into my life since losing touch 15 yrs ago. Along with the friend confirmation, I sent her a personal note expressing to her that now I was back in contact with two people that I have peed my pants with more than once. This story must be shared. Picture two 12 year old girls coming home after drama class laughing it up (I wish to the universe wtf we were laughing about) and we get almost to the front door of my house, but neither of us can make it as we are laughing so hard and now had to pee. We were both leaned up against my Mom's Mercury Stationwagon, she at the driver's door and I was near the front, with our legs crossed so tightly because we were still laughing and pee keeps creeping out which makes us laugh even harder and so on and so forth. It makes me laugh now and I have to go just thinking about it. If there was anything I miss more in my life right now is that intense laughter. I used to LMAO all the fn time when I was a kid and now I have to almost force the intense hilarity that my friends and I imagined and talked about openly. Laugh people. Right now we need laughter and it guarantees length to your life if done regularly and often. I won't mush out right here after reminiscing about peeing my pants on a regular basis and because we made a radio station up called Z10-FART. Two 12 yr old girls- Farty and Fartette. We had such a good time. Give it up!!! Whoop whoop!