Spoonage

Spooning in the new year was pretty sweet. The underestimated power of the spoon. After having your erection bearing into my jeans as you tug on the belt loops grinding me closer, you won't even kiss me. You almost yell, "No turn back around." What is that all about? I'm good enough on the phone or from behind, but not attractive enough for a make out session? Now I know for sure that a good portion of this reaction could have SOMEthing to do with my low self esteem. You should see some of my diary entries as a little girl- always "loving" some dude or many dudes. Some were consistent over the years, but not one of them ever knew the extent of my affection because I never believed I was pretty enough for them. So here I am again in quandary over actions I have performed and things I have said, good and bad. And to his credit, he struggles with self sustained issues as well. Though for spending 24 hrs with the same person and not doing it, he did not get on my nerves nor did I lose my horny patience.

Bottom line was that I got the spoon that I asked for and it was for a decent amount of time AND I got a little boob feel up, too, which was an added bonus. Felt a little like a school girl, but it wasn't exactly the way I envisioned the potential-turned-bailed-seduction attempt. We were supposed to go all the way, but I left a nice fury wall up. hahaha It was good to just have some heavy petting. hahaha And I guess at the very least, you did say I have potential and having heard it before, I think I get it now. I like things that I can spoon; yogurt, peanut butter, cream cheese, cerealThus begins my 2008 New Year's resolution ~ To work on my potential in all capacities.