More OK By the Day

For the past year or so I have been dating someone who protects his identity by paranoia. It's so OCD it's cute. Also, I have been a little superstitious about writing public descriptions of our journey together thus far. Both of us are no fans of how we look in pics, and it has been so long since I had this kind of love in my life that I don't want to jinx any of it. I always look forward to seeing him. These days are often tangled among moments of uncertainty and anguish for the political war we have on ourselves between the environment, war, religious views, and the constant struggle to keep life somewhat personal, not to mention the economy. It feels pretty cool to have someone to look forward to and for being able to shut out as much of the yucky junk g0ing on around us for continued adventures no matter how no immobile they may be.

I have been dating a manboy for a shade over a year. It has not been easy. There are so many things about him that make it challenging to find one word to describe him other than how my sister did- outrageous. I know that he means to shock, hear his own voice, and to be offensively funny. In most cases he means no harm. He is unbelievably sensitive, caring and snugly. He is intelligent. Adorable. Sweet eyes. Deep dimples. Great, strong arms. He's not techie or a gamer. A couple years younger which is why he gets the pass on some of the immaturity. He opens doors for me consistently. He is loud and can be obnoxious, but is very intelligent by a host of experiences from growing up here in Chicago. Blue collar family, but was in musicals and plays in high school. He works for a theatrical lighting company now (we didn't meet by way of theatre). Got kicked out of seminary school. He's atheist. I am agnostic. We get along and are a good match - similar, with some polar opposite mixed in. He allows me to see some behavior I have developed throughout my life and had not tapped into before. Some of it is not easy to deal with, but most possibility for positivity. We have the Sunday morning I've wanted for a long time. I enjoy my weekends again.

Cheers to the epiphany had yesterday. It made for a fantastic release of anxiety bottled up for sometime. Finally after the last 5 years of gaining experience and up to date knowledge, I have made an excellent breakthrough in my environmental work. Please check out what I did yesterday.

If you haven't checked it out - Leen On Conservation

Being Green Taken Further

I may have been a slackass on this blog here, but I have been otherwise occupied with more physical activities including, but not limited to the wonderful worlds of sustainability and humanity. I have created another blog that will chronicle my continuous work in science and climate change education. If you have a minute, please check out my blog on conservation.

http://leenonconservation.blogspot.com/

Much love! I plan to write more on here and there, but new developments in my life do not allow me to be as cavalier with my words unfortunately. Alas, things are OK, just not as open as they used to be. Let there be more openness going forward, so that I do not have to keep my thoughts to myself. Much obliged.

New Blog

Visit my new blog, too!

I'll continue to work out the words on Stomach again as well.

Comedy Shared by Pain

Sharing comedy makes at least two people laugh. If for any moment you have an opportunity to laugh, take it. Squander it, if you will, to reach back into it later for more comfort when time permits unfortunate circumstances. My brother was diagnosed with Stage 4 Melanoma last week. If you know me, and know that I haven't blogged in almost a year, you know my friends and family have been hit pretty hard with that unfortunate slice of disease in almost all forms. In the last two weeks, I have seen/heard live comedy from Gilbert Gottfried and Louie CK. Highly offensive, yet hysterically funny gentlemen that speak in extreme contexts. I recommend people breaking up the pain with some comedy that makes your brain go there and then some and do this with someone with whom you can share. I was fortunate to share these comedy experiences with someone new in my life and find it comforting to know, he also enjoys the art of stand up comedy as much as I do. Release and relate (not sexual - although that's a good release, too ;-). I received the news of my brother yesterday from my mother who didn't want to tell me, but I explained that chances are, my brother wouldn't announce it to me anyway, so probably best that she share with me. Laugh more, if you can. I recommend it and I don't claim to be an expert in comedy or pain, but I do happen to have some extra baggage filled with both subjects that could be construed as more experience than some and in some cases more than anyone would want to bare. Laugh, I tell you, please laugh.

Takin' Its Toll a Little Late

Since the release of Andrew Lloyd Webber's Phantom of the Opera, I have been a staunch non-conformist. I have never regretted my decision to dismiss that show no matter how much of a fan of that type of theatre I was and still tend to be. Today I was greeted with three CDs in the mailbox. (Thank you Amazon.com) All three were Maroon 5. I admit it. I'm late. As goes the usual. In 2003 I was prithee to my first DVD recording (got 2 under my belt now) in Milwaukee at the ever interesting Eagle's Ballroom. A good pal of mine was recording his DVD and had this obscure (at least to me) band opening for him for this DVD shoot. He, like always, encouraged me to hear the opening bands, but being the person that I was and in some ways still am, the type that wants to see what's going on backstage. I am a bummed that I didn't introduce myself to Adam Levine and the band when I had the chance. His voice has been haunting me for a few months and I finally broke down and because I still live in 1996, I bought 3 cheap CDs that, as I type this, have already paid for themselves. I can already say that the acoustic album is my favorite - and it has nothing to do with the Beatles "If I Fell" or "Highway to Hell" covers (the latter gets a giggle even though it was a good try). As for Phantom, I appreciate the music and certainly the original cast, but I still don't need to see it nor do I regret not seeing it. Thanks for reviving my need for new music Maroon 5. Have a great tour!

It Won't Be Soon Before Long
Songs About Jane
1.22.03 Acoustic

Racists at Best - Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh

GLENN BECK AND RUSH LIMBAUGH CAN SUCK MY MOTHER FUCKING DICK!!! I hate you both. At the end of the fucking day, you both CAN and WILL go to fucking hell. The heavens will open and not a lightning bolt, but a nuclear bomb will seek you BOTH out and blow YOU BOTH the FUCK up. FUCK YOU for both dogging out Chicago not getting the Olympics. YOU BOTH FAT MOTHER FUCKERS SHOULD BE ASHAAAAAAAMMMMMED OF YOURSELVES FOR THE WORDS YOU USE AND SHARE!

YOU BOTH ARE MORE UNPATRIOTIC THAN THE ENTIRE KKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND QUITE FRANKLY, HITLER WAS AT LEAST A GIFTED ARTIST!!!! YOU BOTH SHOULD BE SHOT ON SITE. There is no excuse for both your sorry selves. Lest thou be reminded of the FREEDOM THAT YOU BOTH HAVE TO VOICE YOUR STUPID, FUCKED UP, HYPOCRITICAL OPINIONS AND MOST UNPATRIOTIC WORDS.

Again. SUCK MY MOTHER FUCKING DICK, YOU PIECES OF TURDS INFESTED BY RETARDED FUCKING MAGGOTS. I hope both of YOUR FUCKING mothers are DEAD so that they do not live in the SHAMED light of YOUR VOMITOUS, UNCONSCIONABLE, IRRESPONSIBLE AND UNFORGIVABLE BEINGS. EAT SHIT, DIE and then LET US ALL PISS IN YOUR MOUTHS- OOOPS you may like it. Well consider that your last meal. FUCKING FUCK NUTS.

STOP FUCKING TALKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's All Too Much

The Beatles are my TuPac. I have not acquired all that is Beatles or derivatives of the genius. Back when my car was stolen all the CD's inside went with it so I had asked friends to share some of their collection that may or may not be something lost. My musically inclined good friend Sarah and her equally if not slightly more musically inclined fiancee gave me some gems including Yellow Submarine which is one of the only albums I had not acquired in my 20 years of adoration. Honestly, the yellow kept me away. Seriously. Not sure the reason even after years of encouragement, but it took me seeing LOVE in Vegas to really appreciate the songs I had not heard before or seldom and probably didn't know it was the Beatles. No offense to all else that happened in Vegas, but LOVE was the best thing about the trip. I've not been the same person since the trip. I am not sure if it is good or bad, but things have been more than just off since and because of the gravity and length of some of these things that have happened over the last 6 months or so and most within the same week of each other if not only a week or two apart, I'll just sum up the points good or bad- roughly in chronological order.

Nov 08 - sister diagnosed with breast cancer
Dec 08 - sister to have double mastectomy (pity she had great breasts)
ffw:
May 7 - My birthday - Vegas: Valley of Fire, Red Rock Canyon, LOVE (stellar day)
May 8 - in Vegas; Time share debacle = illness= missing poolside buddy hang time; made up with evening/early am buddy hang time - LOVE YOU!
May 9 - still in Vegas and no kind of heat make it any better; great concerts by DMB and Jason Mraz and some more buddy hang time.
May 10 - more heat. Same thing in most casinos. My travel buddy Laurie was awesome to put up with my complaints, idiosyncrasies, and dramatics. It was great to see some good and old buddies! Thanks Vegas.
May 14 - More car trouble almost made me cancel road trip to Richmond/Va Beach then Mom calls to announce she has breast cancer before I go on the trip after I've been contemplating not going
May 15 - Drive Chicago to Richmond, Va - Stay with awesome bro Matt and sis-in law Jennifer with their retarded children (they're not retarded- quite the opposite, in fact so much the opposite that I feel like a retard) Henry and Truman
May 16 - T- ball with bro and nephew Henry - so cute. Then almost late to friend Nancy's wedding- comical running around the church trying to find the door to enter. Reception was lovely - held at Bank. Met good buddies Melissa and Barry at the church and forgot about seeing Paul which made the reception and later evening just delightful.
May 17 - Hang with a few more friends and some family time.
May 18- Drive to Virginia Beach and relax for a few minutes
May 19 - Drs apps - Mom
May 20 - Drs app - Jim (my stepdad), Virginia Beach's first Trader Joe's with Mom, then local farm for veggies, dinner at Lynnhaven Fishouse, my now ex-sis- in law that hasn't seen my other sister Terry in 5 yrs shows up, then my sis and her 3 kids + 1 friend descend
May 21 - My other bro Mike in Va Beach's birthday and his eldest son, Taylor, gets kicked out of (correctional) school 3 weeks before graduating for smoking weed. (Mike just married his 2nd wife, Michelle, in early May- that's a whole other blog in itself).
May 22 - Hung out with some good old Va Beach buddies - Michael and me went to Chick's, then Kandis came over to hang, but didn't get to cover all bases.
May 23 - Birthday dinner celebration for Jim; All the kids and their kids and Jim's sis and her husband, and some other friends - on into the evening and find out my oldest nephew is such a hood that 15 cops raided my ex-sis-in-law's house because they were looking for graffiti tagging evidence. Holy schnikeys. (update - Nephew Taylor is in jail for 30 days for graffiti tagging with a magic marker)
May 24 - Drive Va Beach to Chicago with a 4 hour delay in Kentucky. Got to Kentucky to see Ken and Kathy around 10pm. So good to see them. We visited until about 2:30am and then I had just about 5 hours left to Chicago. Got home, unpacked (rental) car and went directly to Whole Foods to get groceries because I was unsure if I was going to have a functioning car after I dropped off the rental. Mem Day. Enterprise Car Rental is closed.
May 25 - veg.
May 26 - Return rental in morning. Worked all day. Go to mechanic after work to find out that nothing had been done with the car and come to find out the $1300 work needing to be done was covered under warranty after I spent $400+ on a rental car.

Amidst all of these situations, my boss got a promotion which brought me up without paid compensation. Today she tells me that I am not "available" enough and that my work right now does not merit the increase. Ah, good times. What greeted me when I got home today ? One of the barking fucking Cocker fucking Spaniels next door bit me. Love this country!

Consequently, my mother starts chemo next Wed.

The title of this post is in reference to the last track on Yellow Submarine.